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Being a homosexual male approaching 50, my life has involved many, largely pleasurable years engaging in spontaneous encounters with other men from my teenage years. In my 30s, I had a serious relationship that lasted four years, however I never felt completely content, in that I didn't experience love nor sexually nourished. The fact is that I have always craved casual sex. Whenever I begin seeing a potential partner, when the initial excitement dwindles, I always get the urge to have sex with new partners once more.

Questioning the Possibility of Exclusive Commitment

I am now wondering whether it's possible for me to maintain a faithful partnership. I'm aware that numerous homosexual males have open relationships, but when I’ve witnessed them, they have seemed demanding, often resulting in lots of pain and jealousy among all parties. In many ways, I want a partner to love me while allowing me to remain sexually free, however I dread to imagine the emotional drain this might create. Is it best to keep having casual sex and acknowledge that a lasting partnership is not possible? I feel a bit lost.

Each individual's sexual journey fluctuates. Avoid considering about what you require in partnerships or your ability to handle various forms of sexual unions in a finite way. What you need in your current state could easily shift in the future; eventually you may find yourself less ambivalent and find some clarity and a comfortable path … or perhaps not. One day you might meet a person who provides a transformative opportunity for you through mirroring what you want completely … and at another point you might decide that non-committal encounters suit you best. Fretting over what lies ahead and engaging in the “What if?” game is merely anxiety-based and squandering of your energy. Aim to stay present in your relationships, and see the worth of each person with whom you might have a sexual connection. When and if you are ever ready to strengthen true intimacy with one partner, it will be clear.

• Pamela Stephenson Connolly practices as a American therapy professional focusing on addressing sexual disorders.